We all have ups and downs in life. Right now, I think I hit bottom.
At work it's dead calm. Since I work in the research department of my company and there is very little research to do because there is no investment for now, I'm bored alone in an office of 72 who M2 the most propitious time was occupied by 4 people. I spend my time doing odd jobs unattractive to work and read blogs on the Internet when the software allows me flicage access. I zone on Tumblr photos of guys more or less naked. I drink gallons of water to kill time. I prepare the messages that I'll publish on my blog.
At home, even if I have the courage to cook, do some laundry and housework, I am behind. My balcony is in a deplorable state. I should arrange to be able to store all my gardening equipment and it drags on the loose tiles. I had to project to redo my bathroom in the spring and I have not yet restarted the quote that I had to fall. I bulk laundry not ironed. I have tons of paperwork to sort. When I take a day providing RTT plenty to do, if I'm the tenth it is the maximum. I spent hours on the internet to zone rather than move my ass and do some sport. The night I fall asleep watching TV and at 5 o'clock in the morning, I woke up. I have ten books I started reading and I barely have the courage to flip through magazines covered with pictures of hunks in swimsuits.
The big family house is now decaying at a rate "Grand V" because it is no longer inhabited. The roof is good to be redone. Following a TV show, we just discovered only part of the cellar was attacked by dry rot and it will take a heavy treatment. My parents do not throw anything we have left a bric-a-brac not possible and even if we already have much gutted it is still not bad. When we went there, it is no ease since spent his time working like crazy to maintain the 22 acres of land around there. It raises the question of the sell, but some of my sisters are reluctant and real estate market is not flourishing in the village where she resides. I for my part in that house with a workshop machine wood and lots of tools and I'm wondering what I'll be able to do. I wonder of any outstanding or buy or lease a hangar at home.
Hopefully I'll get better. I must move. I have plenty of tracks in the head but I do not carry. And as I am a poet (Thanks to old Marianist who taught me some poems for my school) I give you Baudelaire
When the low heavy sky weighs like a lid
On the groaning spirit, victim of long ennui, And
embracing the horizon whole circle
It pays us a black day sadder than any night;
When the earth is changed into a damp dungeon,
Where Hope like a bat ,
Goes beating the walls with her timid wing
And bumping their heads on ceilings rotten
When the rain stretching out its endless train
one vast grim prison bars
And the dumb throngs of infamous spiders
Comes to his net deep in our brains,
Bells suddenly jump furiously
And hurl a frightful roar the sky,
As well as wandering spirits and homeless
Who start to whine persistently.
- And long hearses, without drums or music,
File slowly through my soul Hope,
defeated, weeps, and atrocious, despotic Anguish,
On my bowed skull plants its black flag.
And I had lots of photos to accompany this poem that I will spare you.
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